Fionne.G

-- Saturday, August 30, 2008 ; 6:41 PM ♥♥

开始，总是甜蜜美好的。
什么时候开始，一切会慢慢变的。
到那时，有谁还会记得曾说过的誓言?
曾答应过的承诺?
爱情，没有对错，没有公平
没有规则，
只有愿不愿意。
不管结果是怎样的，也要接受。
爱，是不可思议的。
但是，有时命运是更强悍的。
有些事是命中注定的，那也是缘。
就像两个人会因为什么牵手，
又为何要分手?

to be continue....

tt's how life is =D

-- Wednesday, August 27, 2008 ; 1:24 PM ♥♥

i felt my child moves ^,^

its like so amazing

so hard to describe the feelings

unfamiliar but i felt warmth

it was not like a kick yet, seems to me was like a movement. popping inside my tummy.

like heartbeating-kind of popping but very strongly felt.

i must admit at first it was really felt abit of uneasy and weird, as its like something inside your tummy is moving. and you can strongly feel it.

but as times goes by, i started to get used to it and eventually started to mumbled to my child.

hahas. talking to her. ^,^

everytime i felt the movement, it becomes a warmth feeling beneath me telling me that my child is there, right inside my tummy.

although pregnancy is really tough, lots of unwell, discomforts and pains.

but it also let me experience something that only WOMEN can experiences.

its something that MEN will never ever get to understand and experience.

thats why people say, women are tough and strong creatures.

looking back, my past 6mths wasnt easy too.

i wonder how did i manage to pull through afterall. hahas.

recently getting abit of discomforts :

* leg cramp

*numbness

*sleeping difficulty

*heartburn

*tummy discomforts

*slight vomiting

*headache

*loss of appetite

haix.... sometimes really hope i can deliver sooner.

especially when i cant get to sleep due to all those discomforts that is making me more irritated.

i had been quite worrying about my health and also my child.

i am so worried that she is not getting enough nutrients.

i had not been eating much.

i can say i eat less than a meal everyday, which is totally NOT supposed to be.

i tried to eat but i really had no appetite to swallow the food in.

i felt like vomiting if i force myself to eat.

i tried eating the vitamins that the doctor prescribe for me.

but it causes me to vomit instead!!!!!

my god~ what's wrong with me ????

unlike other pregnant women, i still DONT HAVE any cravings yet.

although i got think about food i want to eat, but i dont really feel like eating.

eespecially if the food is placed in front of me, i really dont have the appetite.

-,-

i know this isnt good, cause now i am entering the 3rd trimester.

i should start taking more and more supplements and vitamins in order to let my child grow healthy.

but can i really manage to make myself eat?

or whats actually my problems of no appetite?

i hope is not because of stress. i had tried to make myself peaceful and calm.

relax~~ and not to think so much...

but somehow i just feels that i am not eating enough at all.

even for normal adult eat 3 meals a day.

and me?

OMG~~~

i think i really MUST make myself to EAT MORE!

for the sake of my baby, i know i cant go on like this.

i wish i can get back my appetite!!!! please!!! =))

tt's how life is =D

-- Saturday, August 23, 2008 ; 6:21 AM ♥♥

你失恋了吗?

心痛了吗? 哭了吗?

讨厌他? 恨透他了?

或者还是想着那个他?

当你说忘了，是真的吗?

当你说没事，是真的吗?

当你微笑时，是真的快乐吗?

一切真的有那么容易吗?

为什么要伪装? 为什么要逃避?

难道伤心有罪吗? 痛哭流泪是不对的吗?

每个人都希望自己是

坚强的

勇敢的

快乐的

无优无虑的

所以都努力的假装自己

把自己变成自己想要的那样

逃避自己的内心

每天伪装自己

害怕让人看见自己的脆弱

这真的好吗?

回忆真的会被遗忘吗?

心真的就不会痛了吗?

女人的世界，靠着一个男人而活

男人的世界，或许是靠着许多女人而活

男人很难了解女人

女人又不明白男人

也许这就是男跟女的不同

爱情与面包的理论

你会选择哪一个?

受了伤的女人，也许会一时选择面包

但我相信女人如果真的得到爱情

她就等于得到了她自己的世界

就算她被爱伤过，伤到很深

也许不是一次

但我相信女人还是会为爱放弃一切的

其实到最后，女人还是比较强的

因为再大再乱再痛

你还会选择去爱

不是吗?

我们被人说是傻瓜，不过我觉得我们并不傻

因为虽然很多事都太辛苦了

我们还是爱了

我们还是敢爱敢恨的

因为我们还是选择去面对

所以伤心，就让自己哭吧!

难过，就发泄出来吧!

这并不是我们的懦弱，软弱或脆弱~

是让自己再加油，再努力

成为打不死的蟑螂吧！ ^,^

tt's how life is =D

-- Friday, August 22, 2008 ; 10:22 AM ♥♥

[re-calls]last saturday = BUSY DAY

it was..

my brother's bday bbq celebration

and also

my bestie's bday celebration TOO!

-.- LOL

saturday, a long night again. but not everything went smoothly. evening, was awaiting Pris to come over my house to accompany me over to my 2nd younger brother's 21st birthday bbq celebration held at Pasir Ris, as we had already planned to go for my best friend, Peter's birthday party after that too.

it was nearly 9pm when we finally reached Pasir Ris cause we went over to pick up my grandma and two cousins earlier on.

was actually expecting a friend of mine, who was also my 2nd brother's friend, to be there, hmm.. but time wasnt right. she only will be there after 11pm, as i had to go off by then, cant manage to catch up with her =(

his 21st bday supposely on 24Aug

me and my family
soon, 11pm plus, we went home leaving my 2nd brother enjoying there.

on the way back, buddies - MQ n Seng called. last minute ask me to go GRAPEVINE.. in the end, i did manage to rush down for a chat with them. of cause, Pris followed me. hahas. dont mind going there as the cafe was very near my house. =) slacked there till nearly 1.45am then me and Pris headed to our next destination - Peter's birthday party @ St.James Powerhouse.

wasnt really feel like going to that place, due to my pregnancy. but peter is my bestie, so in the end, i agreed to go down to support him. took cab down. and guess what??

we didnt get in at all. ZzZz. something happened. i dont wish to say it out here. LOL. but its really very unlucky of him - Peter. =X

well, speechless for what happened that night. you just cant deny life is just full of unexpected things and coincidence stuffs. hahas.but, i still think that Pris was the overall most BIRD de.. haix. maybe you are the most unlucky one perhaps. 0,o

since we didnt get in, me and Pris headed to TCC opp Cineleisure to chill awhile.and then we went home~ -.- [abit lame]

tt's how life is =D

-- Saturday, August 16, 2008 ; 3:03 PM ♥♥

请不要分了以後　还记得亲吻过的承诺

你的永久　已不属於我

默默低头　那时我很多　话哽在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐　或许我爱太多想太多

我能感受　他比我适合

爱放了手　我伪装冷漠　比你先说分手
请原谅我　原谅我不成熟

不爱你是藉口　好让你离开我
请原谅我　好想自私将你占有

你的寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活
请不要分了以後　还记得亲吻过的承诺

你的永久　已不属於我

默默低头　那时我很多　话哽在喉咙
你的笑你的快乐　或许我爱太多想太多

我能感受　他比我适合

爱放了手　我伪装冷漠　比你先说分手
请原谅我　原谅我不成熟

不爱你是藉口　好让你离开我
请原谅我　好想自私将你占有

你的寂寞就给我承受换你过更好的生活
爱过恨过哭过也笑过

亲吻过你的脆弱其实我比谁都要懦弱
原谅我　必须假装爱错

别让时间逗留　我怕说不出口
原谅我　没有解释太多　心痛

别无所求　彻底忘了我

爱原来有舍得

我爱过　我才懂

tt's how life is =D

-- Tuesday, August 12, 2008 ; 4:43 AM ♥♥

a long n tired but wonderful night-out ((:

sunday 10.o8.08

went to suntec to meet pris there around 5plus.wanted to have sushi, cause my cravings for the tempura was so0o0o0o uncontrollable. BUT i didnt get to eat my tempura. )= sob*Sob* in the end, after much consideration, we ended up in Yuki Yaki at Marina Sq. got steamboat, bbq and self-make ice cream. buffet-style but wasted cause we couldnt eat much that day!!! felt a lil' regret of it. saw my long-lost friend Jowell there. so coincident~ singapore is just so small you just cant deny it. LOL =/ she noticed me first eventhough my hair was so0o0o different now. that means i dont change much. haix. even after so many years never see me, she still can recognise me by my side view even with my blonde hair now! hahas.

after meal was nearly 8pm. went to walk walk around the big shopping mall. haix. dont have the mood to walk with no money to buy.. hahas. cause i usually dont go shopping mall to walk unless i am buying things. but no choice cause we got nothing better to do. -,- in the end, after dilly-dally, me and pris ended up in KBOX singing. supposely got think of watching movie, but no movie to watch in mind, so we went to sing! ((: quite some time didnt go sing, somehow i didnt sing much, -,-. not like me. i usually like to sing non-stop. but dont know why that day, i just no mood to sing. 0.o. i think i really changing~ OMG!!!!

we sing until 1am plus. then kevin came to meet us. he saw my hair and was like, my god, chao ah lian! LOL. -,-. yah yah, and that pris! also together with him to 'suan' me. GOOD . pris, you saw it? good... ^,^ hahas. we were slacking and talking there for awhile. and then headed to east coast park. we went there to play BILLIARD! hahas, they think im pregnant cannot play billiard yah. dont play play, see me no. hahas. i can still play, and suprisingly after so long i didnt play billiard, still not consider very bad. ((: we played till 5am then kevin went off cause he gotta go back camp -,-". left me n pris. we had mac for breakfast and she came my house to zzzzz.

a 12hours plus night-out. very long never go out till so long, was so sleepy. yawnz~

MON 11.o8.08

didnt go anywhere. pris stay at my house till night 10pm, was about to go off while PeiLing called. -,-. MIA one whole day, finally called. hahas. she came down to find us. we headed to my house nearby MAc to slack. life is just so0o0o0o boring. kevin came over awhile too. maybe he knew im super duper bored everyday~ although he was super duper busy everyday. hahas ((: at least, better than that stupid peter! LOL. message me where am i and MIA never reply, trying to be funny. the night before on sunday also the same. really sickening, what a friend~ hahas. still want me go to his birthday party. luckily i never confirm with him. =P

went off MAC around 2am plus and came home. couldnt sleep so came blogging again... hmm, its another day~ hope life can get better. ^,^ and i dont think too much. *pray~

tt's how life is =D

-- Saturday, August 9, 2008 ; 8:26 PM ♥♥

u doesnt know how its felt when you dont even know who you are and what are in you.

i just seems to have lost myself.

where is my heart, my love and my soul?

i knew it was not my first time.

but i doesnt know why, doesnt know how.

maybe there is a devil in me, maybe im born a sinner

or maybe i am just not myself anymore.

why do people changed? i understand so much, but does it really helps?

im fine, yah, i knew i was. but am i really so?

i dont know.

somehow i am afraid of myself, i seems so unfamiliar with me now.

it looks like i had lost myself. not completely maybe partially?

i dont know why, i change. i knew i had. but why?

it sounds so ridiculous, that me myself doesnt know why i am like that or had become like that.

if anyone said that to me, i will say that person is crazy.

i felt so numb now, a feeling so hard to describe.

i doesnt know what am i doing, what had i done.

i knew i did crazy, ridiculous thing. i knew i am bad. i knew i was wrong.

but i dont know why.

my mind is blank, totally no one, nothing inside my mind.

i got nothing i want.

i thought i could had been strong, or maybe yes i am strong.

cause i felt fine, i am not feeling anything.

but is this really alright?

why i seems to feel that i am losing control of myself.

one day i can love you, and the next day i can hate you, dislike you.

and i got no reason, and i dont know why. will you believe?

i dont even believe it myself. but it is happening to me.

they say maybe that was just emotional as i am pregnant.

to me, it doesnt really seems so. cause i dont feel anything.

or is this depression? but it also seems not really so.

greatest enemy in life is myself. yah. i really do hate myself.

i hate it when i just like being myself.

i hate it when i just cant be controlled.

i hate it when i just cannot do things for others sake.

so many more..

people say i am stupid, i dont think when i do things.

yes i am. i dont deny.

i always use my heart to think and do, i never had use my brains to think and do.

but is this wrong? maybe to me, its not.

but in this reality world, it is not right.

LOL.

are you satisfied with your life?

i seems not, but if you ask me what i want, i got nothing and i tell you i am fine with what i am now.

sounds funny.

alot of people likes to see the flaws in perfection.

they tends to grumble over things that is not working well in them.

its just like maybe they had one year plus of happiness, but they only remember the few months of misery they had.

and forgets about the happiness they had earlier.

human just never satisfy.

when they had this, they felt like they want that.

but when they get that, they may want something else.

just like now you got a gf who treats you good, you wants someone who treats you better.

and when you got the better, you want the best.

we tends to think that we can get and find the better ones next time.

and we neglect the main thing in life is to cherish.

we knew, cherish. but are we really doing it?

are we really cherishing what we had?

or are we still demanding for more?

swear to your heart.

there is sure a window asking you to demand more.

because in reality, we are never satisfied.

it seems like everyone had a dream, or maybe a passion or something.

but whats mine?

why doesnt i have? why doesnt i have something that i wana do in life?

yup. maybe giving birth is an experience i wish to experience in my life.

but is that all? where had my dreams go?

i felt so pathetic. i felt disgrace of myself.

i had none.

but i do hope its just temporarily.

i dont like who i am now. i dont want myself to be like this now.

i want back myself, my love, my soul.

i really wish i can find them back, i really wish to know where i had lost them.

if not, please brain-wash me. so i can start again.

tt's how life is =D

-- Wednesday, August 6, 2008 ; 12:36 PM ♥♥

after so long, tis blog is once again alive. once i had deleted the past all posts, now i am startin it again. main reason was i couldnt stand my friendster blog,
-,-. so many problems and errors for jus wana post a post!!! zzzz. so i tink i shall cum back to blogspot again. hee~

well, doesnt realli noe wad to blog for the time being cos i haven sleep for the whole night. so my mind now is BLANK.was busy finding a blogskin, and editing the template for some changes in the description and fonts. hmm. shall jus end here first. i need to get a rest, =))

tt's how life is =D