i had decided, 2 december will be the day. Dr Tseng actually had arranged another so-called appointment on the 2 dec, he was planning my admission on that day. SO, if no labour pain before the 2nd, then i shall admit myself that day. had myself thinking about labour one whole yesterday, haha. my mind keep flashing the words 'kinda slightly big baby you had for the size of yours' that Dr Tseng said to me, kinda afraid that, what if, just what if, my baby ger is too big for me to push her out?? LOL. im imaginative! but i just couldnt help having all these kind of images floating inside my mind! =X haha. my imaginary labour, how the doctor gonna sew me? will i be able to take it physically and mentally???? .... =.=' yah, sounds like im getting kinda too nervous. NOT GD. must STOP thinking but i just cant. =( . i had been telling myself to stay relax. just enjoy my last few days of pregnancy, but as the days get that NEAR for now, i swear i just cant lie to myself that im not abit NERVOUS. especially for now, in which i clearly knows, it will just be within these few days that soon i will be experiencing the moments of becoming a MOTHER! how to not being nervous?? =/. hee~ im not experiencing any contraction pains yet, but i had been experiencing POKING pains in my lower part of my tummy and right inside my vaginal! it seems to me maybe its due to the opening of my cervix that causes those poking sharp pain. and maybe that explains why i can be 3cm dilated. 0.0. thou i do feel contractions in my tummy oftens, but is totally not at all pain.

=( . from the graph of my CTG, the contraction can up to 100plus, it was that tight! but no pain. sianxxxxxx... hmmm how is the REAL contraction pains like???

its 2 december? or earlier?

hello ppl, im back from check-up at KKH today. supposely, i could have been at KKH awaiting for labour now but i choose to come home instead. LOL. had my scan and CTG today. i am having consistent contractions for every 20mins interval, but i dont felt any pain at all. Dr Tseng check my cervix and he say i am actually 3cm dilated! and asked me if i want to admit myself. was considering, but in the end, i choose to wait for the REAL thing to come. haha. somehow, staying in the hospital is a damn boring thing, cause i had been hosptialised at KKH for twice. i dont really can stand the atmosphere there, turns me off. =(. haha. my blood test result says that i am having anemia [low red blood cells]. =( . maybe i am not taking enough nutrients bah, Dr Tseng asked me to take MORE nutrients for myself. and he told me, as for baby ger, she is very healthy. and was consider a lil BIG for my size! she is weighing 3kg already!!!! i am weighing 53.95kg now, nearly 54kg! that means i have gain 13.95kg since pregnant! 0.0 . well, glad that baby ger is healthy and doing well. and as for myself, i think i do need to take more nutrients already! =X. now till 2 dec, i will have to observe my contractions. as i can be on labour anytime. haha.. hopefully it will come sooner. ^,^

FINAL WEEK??

i am basically too FREE nowadays that i doesnt really know what to do so i am currently making a blog for my lil' princess baby ger.! =) . haha. most probably, i will be blogging about her in that blog after her arrival! so stay tuned for the url. ^,^ . since yesterday, i couldnt get myself to fall asleep, it was until this morning nearly 9am then i am able to go into my dreamland!!!!! and that was due to the medicine that i took for preventing vomiting <--[cause im feeling nauseated] which causes drowsiness, that i am able to dozed off yarhs. doesnt know whats wrong in me that i am becoming like that, not to say, my sucky appetite! just couldnt get myself to eat more. =(. keep feeling like vomiting. yucks! and sucks okays! baby ger scared me this morning cause i couldnt feel her movements for hours during the night! i tried to shake myself, touch my tummy, and even jump up and down! finally after some time, she moves. phew~~ but somehow, her movements are lesser now. and that makes me freaking worried, luckily tomorrow i will be having my check-up again at KKH. may everything be as FINE as usual. somehow, i am kinda moody and being a lil down recently, lols. pregnant womens' symptom again? i dont know. well, its been quite some time i didnt felt like this already. i crys for nothing nowadays. haha. becoming too emotional liaos. but i know its because of the hormones changes in me. maybe i am having pre-labour BLUES.. =X. haha~ kidding~


talk about tomorrow's check up, Dr Tseng told me it will gonna be my LAST appt. =.=". so mostly, i will have to choose a date for admission to induce baby ger out tomorrow. hmm.. actually, i do really wish to see baby ger out soon, but somehow, inducing wasnt my first option in mind. haix. if can , i wish she can be out NATURALLY. >.< but yet, i had an uneasy feeling that she may not be good inside my tummy. especially as recently her movements had becoming lesser, i gets so worried okays!! i doesnt want to have anything bad happened to her. im in doubt. should i induce????? im contemplating.... 0.o

OMG!!! Im SO WORRIED NOW!
woke up just now around 4pm. received 2 missed calls from KKH. called back but they couldnt be able to track who's the caller. -.-". im so worried now, cause this is the FIRST time i receive calls from KKH. so afraid that it was due to the blood test i had tested during last appointment!! i hope i am just thinking too much, but somehow, a strong feelings tells me that it may not be something good. =(. as there is no other reasons i can think of now for them to call me. im feeling so uneasy now, cant wait for them to call again so at least i can know WHY and WHAT is happening!! i really hope it wont be something terrible. *crys.

going 39 weeks soon. baby ger is currently still inside my tummy, doesnt want to come out. haha. im getting much better on my sleep. =) . can sleep more longer than earlier on. LOL. although waking up in between is still unavoidable but perhaps im getting really used to it now that its not a hassle to me anymore. awaiting baby ger's arrival is what had been on my mind all these days. impatience is the word that i can describe myself now. haha. as the days getting nearer, i tends to feel more eager to see my baby ger. ^^ keep on wishing and hoping that i can have my contraction pain as soon as possible. thou i do feel worried about hows labour is like too, but somehow the urge to see my baby ger is so much stronger than to worry about how the pain will be like during labour. i believe this is one of a mother's natural. =) .

`everyone has a story.

and i got one memorable one,

its a long story, to say it out to everybody,

its actually just another story of a human being,

but to me,

its something more than just a story.

its a story which changed me,

its a story that will forever be with me.

fairy tales are spoken dreams.

but they do exist. cause i do believe. =)

Edmund Tay Su Yau

06 Oct 82 - 21 Dec 02

"always remembered deep in my heart"

Who Will I Run To - Kiley Dean

You were the one
Who I could tell my deepest fears
And you were the one
Who always wiped away my tears

When he hurt me you were my prince
Sent straight from above
Like a fool I never saw
You were falling in love
So now I've lost everything

Cause now you say
You're gone forever more
So who will I

Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you left me behind

Who will dry my tears
When I cry
Who will I run to
And who will I turn to
Now that you're not here
In my life

You were the one
I took for granted all those years
And you were the one
I should've known
It was so clear

Who will I run to
Who will I turn to
Now that you left me behind
Who will dry my tears
When I cry
Who will I run to
And who will I turn to
Now that you're not here
In my life

How could I be so blind
Not to see what's before my eyes
I'll get you back here with me
If it takes the rest of my life
Cause I would do anything
Cause I want you back forever more

the SONY madness

i know this isnt the RIGHT time for me to aim for these things, haha. but i just cant resist the temptations, and i just cant help to share my cravings! =P. well, but dont worry people.


im still brightly awake! i still clearly knows, all these is ONLY possible after i got back to work. =).








*listed into my wishlist. ^,^








somehow, i dont like the samsung i8 i am having cause i dont really know how to use it. i cant even snap a picture with the i8 clearly without using flash. =( . pathetic right? haha. was aiming for a new camera. and of cause the Cybershot T-series will be on my top list cause Rynn Lin Yu Zhong is one of their ambassador for the T-series. haha.














and also i got so in-love with the new SONY VAIO CS-series!! the CS13G/P is only $1499. not expensive for a lappy i think. somemore it comes in 3 of my favourite colours!! white, pink and black! ohhhh~~~~~ its just so nice!!!!!! haha.









in white













in pink









in black










i think im getting lil crazy over 'em, yet somehow i hope i am just temporarily being like this. =X

Its Another Day Nearer~

pardon me for not blogging much recently. haha. i am so lazy now. =X. thanks pple for your tags, will reply shortly. haha~



today, went for my follow-up @ KKH. had a scan, and baby ger's weight this time was 2.6kg? -.-"

even my gynae Dr Tseng finds it weird, i was wondering, are those accurate? haha. cause during my last scan baby ger was weighing 2.7kg! now drop? =/ . recently i had been very heaty. as thou im burning inside my body. tried to drink lots of water and mum even bought coconut drinks for me but doesnt really cools me down. i even nose-bleeded. =( . told Dr Tseng about it so he ask me to do a blood test to count my red blood cell today. duh~yet another blood test! i dont know do how many blood tests already!!!!! this is the 4th time!! hopefully, everything can be fine. baby ger's position is still as normal.head-down.had my cervix check again and i was 1cm dilated. BUT Dr Tseng told me that my baby ger's position is still quite high up, havent drop down yet. -.-" suggest me to walk MORE~ next week will be my last appointment. if i am still not 'ready' for labour, i will have to choose a date to induce baby ger out. =.= . i told my mum and she say,"why so gan chiong wan? cannot wait till pain then natural give birth meh" LOL. actually im quite fine with anything ya, as long as baby ger can come out safe and sound, thats the main thing in my mind only. =) . somehow i just feel that my baby ger wont be out so early, haha. afterall, i am also a post-term baby. =P . i was 2 days late from my EDD, but i was not INDUCE out de. haha. my mum told me, just nice that day was DUAN WU JIE, the dumpling festival, she say she ate one dumpling and then the pain came. LOL. saying that i must eat dumpling liao then want to come out. haha.. well, baby ger's movement is still very ACTIVE. cant stop moving and kicking, i can always see the movement on my tummy. =) while waiting for my scan today, she was moving NON-STOP, even my mum saw it, she also says next time i sure 'jia lat' cause now inside my tummy also cannot STOP moving already!! so naughty! =P. hmm... haha, *pray hard. now hope that my blood test is fine, and urghhh.. i am so excited as the days are getting nearer and nearer!!!!! i hope i can just have contraction pain suddenly and go into labour. haha..

need to save more money lerhs, been spending so much recently. everytime consultation fee is at least 100plus. =( . thought singaporean can get subsidise? but somehow i dont seem to have and i also dont know why i am under private.i seems like everything also dont know yarhs. =X.

nowadays, my only thought is

SLEEP!!!!

i dont know why, i just feel like wanting to sleep, sleep and sleep only.

-.-"

``ZZZZZZZZZZZ

iM rEaChinG tO my 38wEeKs tMl! =P

sO eXciTeD !!!!!

aLoNe aT hOmE =(

im alone at home now, feeling kinda low today. =( . whole family had went out for grandma's birthday celebration dinner. as i mention earlier, mum suggests me not to go, so now i am left alone at home, so lonely. =/ . dont know why my tears roll down just moments ago when everyone left, somehow, i felt that i am not really happy about being asked to stay home. to me, i feels that baby ger's existence and i am actually not married is a fact, i may be able to avoid gossiping and questioning from all those relatives for now, but what about in future to come? although i do understands my mum's feelings, and i dont really wish to argue with her cause it may hurt her, but deep down, i just feels that if i can i will just let everyone knows the true fact. afterall, my baby ger is coming to this world, real soon. and i am not ashamed to let people know that yes i am NOT married and am going to be a single mum! well anyway, i am alright now, just being a lil emotional just now. i am not angry about my mum's action, cause i truly understands her point. as frankly speaking, i aint any closed with my father's side relatives, due to the complications in our family line. <-[hard to explain it thou.] towards some uncles or aunties, cousins, we are like simply strangers, we dont even say hi to each other even if we happen to saw each other on the streets. LOL. i only knew a few uncles and aunties, the rest is like only see them once a 2 years or 3 years? thats how NOT CLOSE i am with my father's side relatives. but somehow, you know. quite a few of them just like to nag, say and boost among themselves, which for me, i simply DETEST this kind of people. =.= . maybe we are not as rich as them, not as successful as them, so everytime, attending this kind of family gathering isnt really fun. =X . i thinks alot of people do experiences the same thing. so you guys know what i means! haha. life is just like this.



today, i been having tummyache. being heading for the loo doing BIG business for quite a number of times. wondering is it alright? i must have ate something not clean. =X . hopefully, the pain can ease soon. =)

stupid. FRIENDSTER!

i think somehow friendster is having problems again. sometimes can logged in, sometimes cant. =/ . and i dont know why i lost so many friends in my friends list!!! its like WTF! hopefully it is just temporarily like that, if i am gonna permanently lost all those friends, i might just stop using friendster. afterall, its becoming no point! i lost about 400 friends in a go! -.-" . how to locate back them man!!! pissed~ =X.



yesterday night was hell.. couldnt sleep well at all. LOL. it started of with baby ger's non-stop moving. and then when i was about to dozed off, i got mild contractions. -.-". keep on pressing on my bladder part which makes me so uncomfortable lying on bed. tried to sit up, but doesnt ease the discomforts. =( . i thought maybe i was in labour due to the contraction? haha.. but no larhs. just false alarm. cause after about few hours, everything eased. =/ . luckily i didnt went to wake my mum up. LOL. in the end, i fall asleep quite late. ZZZZ.

14112008

woke up early @ 9am today. wanted to sleep a lil while more but couldnt. =( . sleep had become a BIG issue in my life now. i do need MORE SLEEP!!! haha. prepared myself and went bugis to meet Pris around 2pm. went La Mei Zi for steamboat again.. sat there and slowly munching on the food till around 4pm plus. LOL. enjoying life~ =) had a very full lunch there!




yummy yummy =P






after that headed over to Bugis Junction. as my tummy grows, my movement had became clumsier. couldnt walk much so we decided to go for a movie. and of cause i want to watch Madagascar 2!!! long-waited for it, and FINALLY been able to catch it! hmm... the movie was hilarious, i loved the part when alex and his dad dance together, LOL. cant stop laughing. but somehow, i still thinks that Madagascar [the first epi] is nicer. =/ . after movie, its nearly 7pm. we walked around awhile more, headed to cold storage to buy some stuffs and cabbed home. really felt that i had become much more easily exhausted nowadays. just cant go out for long like before. -,-".





see my BIG tummy!





Pris n Me




home sweet home







recently, baby ger's movement is getting more and more oftens. i can feel her movements and her kicks are becoming more and more powerful! =P. sometimes felt so pain when she happens to kick somewhere near my rib cage! =( . her pressure on my bladder makes me go for the loo almost 30minutes once. arghh.. somehow i sense that my baby ger will be an active baby when born. LOL. cause now inside my tummy already been moving and moving almost every minute, cant imagine hows she will be like when she's out! =X . haha. seems like im complaining. oops! but no matter what, she will still be my beloved daughter! =) cant wait for the day she can be in my arms! ^,^

back from check up

finally, back home from check-up @ KKH. im more easily exhausted nowadays. =( . woke up around 12pm today, prepared myself and cabbed down to KKH with mum. went for my scan. baby weight is 2.7kg! already. hmm..got increase, and Dr Tseng says its not bad. =) . phew~baby's position is as normal, head-down. went for CTG after that, so long, 30minutes.


-,-". just checking for baby's heartbeat and contractions. everything is normal and fine too. yeah~ ^,^. these few days been feeling nausea again, haix. Dr Tseng told me maybe its due to my baby who is pressing hard on my organs/intestines so causes those discomforts. =( . he suggest that maybe i can take back my medication to prevent vomiting. haix. i had been on medication ever since pregnant. felt so not good. although those drugs is suitable to be taken during pregnancy but i just finds it not very good to rely on medication so that much, but no choice. my body sucks. =/ . starting of pregnant had been vomiting non-stop for months till hospitalised due to dehydration, then have to rely on medicine to stop vomiting till about i was in my 5months pregnancy then stop. just as i thought i dont need to take medication anymore, i started to have rashes all over my body during my 7months. and again, had to eat medicine to stop the itch and to prevent the rashes to spread since then till NOW. =( .


sadly. but anyway, all these its gonna end SOON... haha. 9months of pregnancy.


its tough and so xinku~ but still like all mum will say : its all worth it! =)


only wish is that baby ger can be healthy and well...


Dr Tseng check my cervix today and he say im a lil' dilated already. 0.0 . so must be careful with my movement lorx. was kinda puzzled how he can know im dilated when he only inserted his finger to check. ? o,O mum told me, thats why they are doctors. they know the difference.


-,-". going back KKH for check-up again next week. hopefully, everything will still be as fine. =)


its nearly 5pm after everything's done. went kovan for dinner. after which, mum went AMK for her mahjong session and i headed home cause im feeling very nausea. =(








my 37weeks tummy =P











just ate medicine for my rashes and vomiting de, both causes drowsiness. -,-"


i think i will be in bed ZZZZZ soon.





TATAZ~.








me! e blogger =)









p/s: just doesnt know why they are people who dare to comment but dont dare to leave down their names. doesnt want to be known? LOL. but too bad, thats no use on me..

reflections.

~~ TODAY.

normal as usual

`slept for 8hours

`ate duck rice for dinner, spagetti for supper

`watch tv for leisure

`played my psp for past-time

basically, i just got

NOTHING to BLOG

about. =P

p/s: the bird nest is still in the fridge, mum sure kill me if she finds out that i didnt eat it. =X.

GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!

i know you do read my blog. so hereby i want to tell you : please fark off in my life! i really detest you, your character, everything of you! truly DETEST!. yes, i dont want to be with you because you totally sucks! you are the worst person i ever seen in my life and i must tell you i had never detest a person so much ever before! i hate you to the extreme that i rather be laughed at, said at, being a single mum than to face a person like you. i dont want to have any relate to you in anyway, anymore. not ever! neither for now or the future. please bear in mind, we are NOT even friends. and even if i see you on streets, you will be just a stranger that i detest! i am a very straight-forward person, you may not like the way i said it, but this is what i want to say out, shout out, scream out and yell out! dont you ever come interfere us! not to even think about it!

just my thoughts...

memories are wonderful things! it may be sweet or bitter, may be happy or painful sorrow ones, but whatever it is, it does makes us experienced it. when you actually looked back your life, you will realised, hmm.. i have actually walked that far~ ^^. i love to experience. to me, life is just about experiencing. to learn and to grow. physically and more important, mentally. to me, life is not about how you succeed, its more about how you can pick up again when you fall. i believe every success had failure. just like yin and yang, good and bad, nothing is one-sided. i dont expect my life to be smooth-sailing, not because im being negative or being pessimistic. XXX . its just that i feel that those bad or unhappy things that had happened to me, it makes me grow and realised alot of things. sometimes, when i really think back about it, i do find that if without those pain i also wont be able to know what sweet is actually all about in my life, isnt it? =) . i dont really need to be rich with lots of money, neither do i wish to be famous and popular. i like everything to be simple. i wished to EXPERIENCE LIFE than to just LIVE LIFE. my frequency is hard to be described, and i do agree that not many will understand. its sounded very complicated BUT actually its just very simple. lots of people thinks im hard to understand cause i dont explain things that i do, and im usually quiet over my stuffs and dont really will talk them out. but IF you believe me, im just a very simple person. =) . IF you trust the things i said, that is about ME. IF you want to know me, all you have to do is to BELIEVE what i told you is true about ME. just so simple only. so if you cant put your trust on me in the first place, obviously, you wont be able to understand me. because you dont even BELIEVE it. =/ .LOL. isnt it? it goes well with everyone. no matter who, what, why.. alot of things is up to YOURSELF whether you want to believe it OR not. somehow, to me, nothing had a definition of RIGHT or WRONG, GOOD or BAD. if you thinks that it is not good, its bad! if you thinks that its wrong then it will be wrong. its all YOUR choice. YOUR beliefs. dont ask me how you can understand me, ask yourself.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO DADDY! =)

today is daddy's 55th birthday! happy birthday lao pa! hmm.. he is getting older lerhs. =( . had a long day, woke up in the morning and went to dad's shop with mum and dad first cause afterall dad is having his birthday celebration at the community centre's karaoke lounge in the evening. they booked the whole lounge for 4hours, so the whole room is OURS. =P . the celebration started at 6pm. but my 2 brothers came only at 8pm plus. -,-" . left me alone 'bird' there for 2 hours!! although i cant really merged with those aunties and uncles, but i do enjoyed it thou. ^^ . especially loved to watch them sing, dance and have fun together. felt happy for them too, eventhough basically i had nothing to do at there. it is not a COMMON thing to watch my parents sing, dance and played around like 'kids' lorhs. =X. i cant help laughing out loud during some moments when my parents and their friends were all dancing with the music!! especially got one uncle, his pose is super duper FARNIE!!!! make me and my brothers couldnt stop laughing. =X . the session ends at 10pm. but they continue their gathering near dad's shop there till around 11pm. im tired, but its a wonderful day with my family. ^^ . feel so happy!!!!!

below are a few pics taken:

the POSE man!

singing with passion =X

they are happily enjoying =P

cheering~who snapped tis? =/
see that uncle. =X
they are so HAPPY! its SHOW time!
uncle rabbit n wife =)

wan drink? 0,o

food! 0.0
everyone singing BIRTHDAY song to my daddy!

ah bao n me
me n mum
me n mum n her friends =)

THE TRIPLE ONE!

yoz yoz, november is here! so fast, my god~ 0.o

not blogging much recently, doesnt know why wasnt feeling very well these days. =/ .
i dont wanna fall sick =( !!

daddy's birthday is tomorrow~ =) !